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the old man looks up with a smile on his face and you catch a glimpse of his nametag
the nametag reads "Hello, my name is Jon Swagamoto"
"Wait, is that his uncle Jon?! I thought Garfield killed him!"
“Hey can we leave I don’t like awkward family reunions”
"That's probably the least questionable thing out of everything, but yeah, we've got a lure to set up, so let's get going, Akerino."
"unfortunately for Garfield, my legal name is jonthany."
“Well bye! Enjoy having a functional family!”
"Wow, that was some shade, even though my parents literally sent me here at the slightest accusation of punching a guy who looked suspiciously like Shido."
all the food you need to lure dedede appears in front of notwalmart
“Well that’s depressing, now let’s go penguin hunting!”
"Sweet! We'll finish what Kirby started-!"
The door is kicked open.
"Oh crap, that's right, we left Kirby out in town!"
“Well don’t just stand there give the demon some food!”
Kirby looks right at Akerino upon him saying that.
"I uh...think he heard you call him a demon."
“Well I’m going hide now so I don’t die”
"Anyways, Kirby, you want some more curry rice? Without the spices?"
Okay can I come out and not die now?”
"Yeah, we're good, Kirby's happy again."
“Good! Now where are we putting the bait...”
"Hmm...A good question, we'd have to choose somewhere that penguin couldn't possibly miss it."
“Tokyo is a big place and he could be anywhere...but...”
“Kirby! Where does Dedede like to hangout?” It was at that moment that Akerino would be reminded that Kirby's language is 'Poyo'.
"That wasn't even the question he asked!"
"Wait a minute...It was answering! Dedede hangs out at...any local fast food place!"
“Okay to the closest fast food place we go!”
And then they went to a fast food place to set up a trap As they were setting it up, Jokero was eating some french fries he bought from the fast food place.
"Man, they have some great fries here."
"I smell me some good food, but the gourment race made me stuffed. NO THANKS."
Dedede takes a nap.
“Well that’s... kinda convenient... well time to stuff this gun pancake down his throat while he’s sleeping”
"Fair enough, Kirby are you- Well, I think Kirby's a little TOO ready."
Shoves the pancakes down his throat
“His breath stinks”
"Should we have brought gas masks?"
“We better leave before the police finds us”
"Yup, and if anyone asks, Ryujuul did it."
“He looks like he would commit a crime, so we’re good...
where exactly are we going now?”
"I dunno, back to the cafe? I can make us some curry."
so they went to the cafe And so, Jokero made the curry as well, and totally raised his guts or something.
“Do you think Dedede somehow survived being shot in the stomach?”
"Well, he DID survive a bomb last time."
“Is it protected by some sort of stand? I really hope not...”
The cafe's window shatters, revealing a giant mouth from an open wound of the bullet.
He is radiating in darkness.
I̷ ̸n̷e̷e̵d̴ ̵a̵ ̶m̴o̴n̵s̸t̷e̶r̵ ̶t̷o̸ ̶c̷l̵o̴b̷b̴e̸r̶ ̵t̵h̷a̴t̸ ̶t̴h̸e̶r̸e̵ ̷m̴i̷n̵c̵e̷ ̵m̷e̷a̵t̴.̷
“Uuuuuuuuuuuuh Hi satan...?”
"Oh god, what do we do now? Kirby, any ideas???"
“Nope that’s a perfect idea Kirby”
picks Kirby up and gets ready to throw it
"I mean, I'm fine with this if you are, just consider the consequences."
“We got Kirby to be Dedede repellent so why isn’t the stupid ball doing anything to kill the penguin! We’ve been doing all the work!”
"Akerino, I don't know if we should diss Kirby, he has a gun, remember?"
sets down Kirby
“Ok you useless trash why don’t you go kill Dedede for us! ” Pleeeeeeeeeease? Kirby just points the gun at Akerino
"WHAT'D I LITERALLY JUST SAY ABOUT DISSING KIRBY?!" Pancake Experience turns the gun into a pancake and Akerino throws it away
“You were saying?” Kirby then just charges his Side B
“Hey calm down... I was only joking! You so awesome Kirby!”
"Oh my god, that worked."
“Well great now all we need is Kirby to kill Dedede and we just cleared a path to kill SHIDO”
"Well, yeah, assuming nothing else ridiculous gets in the way."
“How did a dog get in here and why is it talking?”
“We shouldn’t get too attached to the dog. Remember this is a Jojo shitpost disguised as a role play”
Did you plan on making your own mother wait in the car?
"Man, from fourth wall breaks to a reminder of said fourth wall break's series. Harsh."
“Uh what’s the dog talking about?”
"I don't know, considering my mother kind of dumped me with Brojiro and the cafe, since again, accused of assaulting a guy who looked suspiciously like Shido. Huh, what if they're talking about YOUR mother?"
Why are we here? Just to suffer?
“I doubt it...”
"Oh, I know! Maybe it's an elaborate 'Your mom' joke!"
“Oh maybe it’s saying that we’re going to die...”
(edited by TheRemitron)
"Or that, that's also a viable explanation."
“Okay we’re getting distracted! There is an immortal penguin staring at us through a broken window, we can’t get distracted with a talking dog and someone’s mom in a car”
"Maybe it's Ryujuul's mom- Wait, where did Ryujuul even go?"
“Isn’t he with his uncle?”
"You guys are ridiculous and kinda stale, could help to relax a bit but that's just my opinion."
The animal slumps over on a nearby table in the cafe shouting out his order to the barista, yawning all the while.
"...Eh, they're prolly harmless, I hope," the creature murmurs.
"Why are you shouting for a Barista? This is literally Leblanc, I'm the employee here. May I take your order?"
“Excuse me what the fuck? Stale?! Relax?! Harmless?! I’ll kick your furry ass to the moon!”
"Ah, crap, here we go again."
Points gun at the animal
“Either you leave this cafe or you’ll learn what hell’s like!”
“He talks about moms and now he’s talking shit about me! My planet sized ego can’t take this!”
"Are we sure it's not galaxy sized..?"
“Ah shut up and help me exterminate this dog!”
"Aww, but I wanna keep it...It's not forcing me to go to sleep like Morgana."
“Do we want another distraction?! We already have a creepy penguin staring at us so we need a shit talking dog to?!”
"SPEAKING of Dedede...uh...kind of convenient he's just waiting...Wait, is he charging something or something???"
“He 100% is but we can’t do shit because he’s fucking
” IMMORTAL the narrator appears once again in his human form
"Since this fight has been going on for long enough, I will give you a hint on how to defeat Dedede. He is allergic to peanuts. Now in return for my advice, could I get a cup of coffee?" Garfield wakes up far away from the normal gang, and immediately gets to work making Lasagna and kicking dogs, as well as killing Jons in his path.
"I hate mondays..."
OOC: are you talking to me or garfield
Jokero just hands the narrator a coffee. The narrator thanks jokero for the coffee
"I guess I never did introduce myself huh. I am the narrator, a stand without a user. Do you remember the voice in your head that told you to leave the cafe before Kirby blew it up? Or maybe that convenient radio alerting you that Shido was coming. That was me. You're welcome by the way."
“I’m 100% sure he’s trying to kill us”
"if I wanted to kill you, you would be dead by now."
"I mean, to be fair, the power of convenience fixed Leblanc pretty fast before Brojiro even noticed."
“Let me guess, Mr. Narrator, you speak in riddles?”
(edited by TheRemitron)
"That sounds concerningly stereotypical."
“I honestly expected him to have a large nose too”
"That sounds oddly familiar."
At that moment Akerino realized that he fucked up
“Uh... you know people with long noses?” Ryujuul falls through the roof shouting
"IS THAT A FRICKIN JOJO REFERENCE!?"
"WHAT WERE YOU DOING ON THE ROOF?!"
"There could be many answers to that question based on time..."
Ryujuul throws a bar of soap directly into Jokero's mouth
"well that happened. Anyway, to answer your question from earlier Akerino, no I don't speak in riddles. If I wan't to spoil the future, I just do it."
“Finally some all powerful being that doesn’t confuse me”
looks at Ryujuul and Jokero
“Stop being gay and help me get rid of the penguin, God damnit!”
Looks back at the narrator
“Is this the part that you disappear magically?”
"Na, I still got coffee left."
“Ah... is that so? Then... while your here can you, like, snap Dedede out of existence?”
"Nope. My powers consist of talking in people's heads, narrating, predicting the future, omnipotent knowledge, and turning human."
“That’s lame you should get a refund”
(edited by TheRemitron)
Well, I asked shido and he said no. He called me a rebellious child for not wanting to take over the world. What does he know. I have unlimited knowledge, I can do what I want."
chokes on water
“Wait... ” W H A T
"what, did I say something weird?"
"Akerino I assure you, the only one happy here is Ryujuul, and that can change in an instant."
“Wait what was that about SHIDO Mr. Narrator?”
Akerino seems to be very focused on what the Narrator said and is ignoring Jokero
"well what can I say, shido made me. He somehow got his hands on a machine that can make stands. But even so, I hate shido. He just wanted to use me to take over the world. So I left to find people who could help me defeat him."
“Yeah.... I definitely don’t trust you now”
"I can't blame you. But don't blame me when you get hit by a falling ryujuul. Anyway, i'm out of coffee so i'm going to go, see ya."
And with that the narrator disappears leaving behind his calling card, a single four leaf clover.
“Excuse me what the fuck”
Ryujuul falls from the sky on akerino. Who would of guessed.
Freezers walks onto the cafe
"The single action that I am performing is acquiring a hydrating liquid"
”I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON ANYMORE!” soap teleports into Akerino's mouth
"At this point, I've pretty much given up on trying to understand anything that's happened today."
“So Mr. Sketchy said Dedede’s allergic to peanuts right? Should we believe him? His story about a stand creating machine made no sense. Stands are someone spirit power or something like that so how can someone make a stand without a user?”
"Well, it's the best lead we have for now, so let's make something with peanut butter in it."
“I can’t cook so you do it”
"Right...surely Brojiro has some peanut butter around here..."
"I found...some paperclips and a subway coupon."
“Would giving Dedede a Subway coupon work?”
wak sin und meks han sembles ath chu
“Sorry I don’t speak loli”
"I don't speak jailbait."
“Sorry I don’t speak Justine and Caroline”
"You mean those prison guards?"
”God damnit I slipped aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”
“Oh look the Rock is back”
(edited by TheRemitron)
"Curse that conveniently inconvenient rock!"
Ryujuul rushes into the Cafe and as he closes the door behind him a jar of jof peanut butter falls towards Jokero
(edited by Ryujuul_Swagamoto)
“I was going to a make a peanut butter joke but I can’t think of one”
“Do I even want to ask any questions at this point?”
“What are you doing? Kill the penguin already!”
What even is going on anymore!?
What even is going on anymore!?
OOC: if you're not contributing to the story, try to be OOC. If you are trying to be part of the story, put quotation marks before and after what you are going to say.
(edited by Luck)
"That penguin will curse you for all eternity!"
“IS THAT ANOTHER GOD DAMN ME?!”
A laser comes very close to the new person
“Well that’s random... anyway we need to actually take the plot somewhere so how’s the penguin poison?”
“Well are we using it or not? And you better not be eating it!”
*Somewhere in the distance, a voice can be heard.*
This RP Is Majestic
While jokero and akerino talk about how to use the poison and where the plot is going, ryujuul somehow hears the narrator insult him. The insult was so harsh, it caused ryujuul's stand to clone the poison 20 times. This will affect the plot of this story in the future.
“Uuuuuuh... if the narrator guy did that then maybe I’ll trust them more”
"Well, time to feed Dedede an 'all you can die' buffet."
And so they shove a bunch of peanut butter into Dedede’s throat
“Well now the plot is actually moving now let’s get prepared to kill SHIDO!”
"Finally! Actual progression!"
“To celebrate the plot actually moving let’s go to IHOP”
Then went to IHOP
I hope that we don’t have to deal with another guy that will make the plot stop moving again
(edited by TheRemitron)
"Akerino, for the love of god, don't jinx it..."
“Anyway, now we need a plan to kill SHIDO.... any ideas?”
"Maybe we need a car...or Morgana to turn into a car..."
“What are we going to do with a car? Run him over?”
"I mean, that's
“Do you have any other ideas?”
"Accuse SHIDO of propagandas and elaborate made up BS online and see people revolt against him because they somehow believe it?"
“That’s... actually a smart idea! I’m impressed!”
"What's that supposed to mean? I'm not Ryujuul, of course I can have smart ideas."
“Well are you going to do it or not? We can’t kill my da- I mean SHIDO by making fun of each other!”
"Yeah, yeah, let's get to our good pal, the internet, where someone's leg was so hot they fried an egg."
“Stop saying stupid fun facts and get to work...”
"Yeah, yeah, posting a stupid conspiracy theory that the government will HAVE to investigate because of the details and accusations."
“Well what are we accusing him of?”
"Death Threats, Scandals, unironically saying Club Penguin Island was better than the original Club Penguin...The worst kind of things a person could do."
“Wait! Make sure you put in that he likes Fortnite better then Minecraft. Then the whole world will hate him”
"That's good, that's good, but we're missing something...WAIT! I know, this'll surely cause an uprising against him! Shido claims that he 'Does not care' that Stan Lee has passed away!"
“Ooooooh this is great! I can already hear the riots!”
"Yep...now all I have to do is send this...You ready, Akerino?"
"Sweet, because I just sent it."
"Now, we wait for the anger of the people."
In the distance they hear people yelling. It seems they’re talking about someone who doesn’t care about Stan Lee
“Sounds like they believed us”
"Perfect, let the revolting begin!"
“So do we just wait until the crappy apology video and then kill him or do we just kill him now”
"Assuming the public doesn't kill him first, we should probably wait for the crappy apology video, and then...change his heart, then see if he kills himself."
“We can’t exactly just wait forever though, he’ll probably have to practice his fake crying first and we don’t know long that will take...”
"Unless we can somehow leak him practicing faking it...Then nobody will believe his apology, not even remotely."
“And how we going to do that? Metal Gear Solid into his room and record him?”
"I was thinking the metaverse, but that works too."
“I was being sarcastic, moron...”
out of no where, a door appears. The door has a sign on in that reads “IHOP: international house of personas.” What’s a persona? Do they mean stands. If so they should know that those two things are completely different and are in no way similar.
“Is the narrator guy messing with us again...”
"Oh, most definitely messing with us. Clearly got the term 'Stand' wrong, too. I've definitely never heard of a Persona before."
“Well while we’re waiting for an angry mob to kill SHIDO why don’t investigate this door that
isn’t a trap” DEFINITELY
"I see absolutely no flaws or potential backfires to this plan, let's do it."
“What do you think is in there? I doubt it’s delicious pancakes”
They reach out to the door and find themselves in a realm of pure gold. They do not understand what is going on but most certainly there is no pancakes that they could eat, however it does have...
Me, Golden Yu, the real Yu for Yu all to see.
Stop these sacrilegioYus act immediately you pair of nYumbnYuts.
For I, Yu, that is me, shall pYunish Yu.
I'll Face Myself can be heard in the background. Then Golden Yu dabs on them haters for Colossal damage.
“Uh... What the... wait... why? What? Huh?”
"oops, wrong door."
the narrator attempts to replace the door six times. It was only until the seven attempt that the door became the correct one. Upon opening the door the two are greeted to a room containing a... well, you know what, i'll let you find out for yourselves. The room looks like a very blue IHOP. Two lolis with eyepatches on are dressed in IHOP uniforms and some long nosed man are in front of them
“Oh... that’s right this is a Persona RP...”
"Excuse me you two, but would you mind telling me who you are and why you are here?"
(edited by MrMeow)