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GYM Deluxe: Cross Tag Magica
"Ah, we meet again friend."
<i>Grimnir speaks to himself from the rooftop across from the newly renovated GYM, he laughs to himself as his hair flutters in the wind. Used to these customs by now, Grimnir leaps down onto the street</i>
"Now, prepare to meet your Maker!"
<i>Grimnir shouts as he charges at the GYM's front door, before flying feet-first....
As the door opens in front of him, resulting in the silver-haired war god comedically striking the far wall instead.</i>
"Ha! Slippery little fellow. I'll get you next time."
Somewhere over the Rainbow Bridge
"Don't worry mam, I'll save you from the stranger"
<i>A tall, silver-haired man, in one majestic leap, goes over the rainbow bridge, drop kicking Maya in the back of the head and knocking her off the bridge, Grimnir flying past as he does so</i>
"Yet another day of heroics for the God of War"
Last Post Wins: New Year Edition
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Ngl, Iâ€™m a little disappointed at the lack of shitposting here
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
Free-for-all arena fight
<i>Grimnir gathers the air around him and uses it to leap backwards, getting a fair amount of distance away from all the explosions before landing back on his feet with a bow</i>
"sorry to cut the show so short, but I'm afraid I've other callings. Have fun you too."
<i>With that, much as he came, Grimnir would simply leap back, first into the stands, then over the arena side and off into the distance</i>
<spoiler>sorry, I've got to turn it in a bit early, maybe next time</spoiler>
We are gathered here today
<i>A young, silver-haired man wearing similarly glowing armor steps up to a podium. In front of said podium is an urn filled with ash, as well as a sign nearby that says
"Rest in Peace Nyarlathotep"
The dawn of time - 2019
There are many creatures gathered for the funeral, from humans to demons, to things you probably shouldn't look at for risk of losing your sanity.
The silver haired man leading this funeral clears his throat and speaks a few words</i>
"Thank you all for coming, we're gathered here today to mourn the passing of a dear friend. Some of you may know him as the Crawling Chaos, though his friends often referred to him by his nickname 'Nyarly'.
In a tragic turn of events our dear friend recently perished in a wildfire occuring in California. It was a great surprise, not that there were fires, but that dear Nyarly perished in them. If there is anyone else who would like to speak on our dearly departed friend, please stand now, and make your peace."
<i>The young man would solemnly walk off the podium, standing next to the urn to give others a turn</i>
Swift as the Wind
<i>In a secluded section of the city, separated from the constant noise and bustle, almost as though a barrier were cutting it off from the outside world, there lies a single studio, much larger than the small, out of business places around it. On the walls around the place are a series of printed fliers, each about one sheet of paper and largely white, they serve their purpose well enough, pointing to the studio near them with the phrase "Join us for a fantastic bout of exercise and training which shall test body mind and soul, a truly excellent test of prowess worthy of the very gods themselves, not only that, but for the first time our glorious lessons shall come for absolutely no cost save the blood sweat and tears required to overcome adversity with th.....
at that point it seems there wasn't any room left on the paper, save a small space at the very bottom containing an arrow which points to the studio nearby.
For those who approach the studio, they would walk in to find one, large room with a wooden bar at roughly shoulder-height rounding all the way across a wall lined with mirrors. Off to the side is a small break room, with a few wooden chairs for any spectators to wait in, a water fountain for anyone who might be thirsty, and a single, small bathroom. In the middle of the floor sits a single, silver-haired man deep in what seems to be some sort of meditation</i>
Epic Training Montage
<i>In a secluded section of the city, separated from the constant noise and bustle, almost as though a barrier were cutting it off from the outside world, there lies a single studio, much larger than the small, out of business places around it. On the walls around the place are a series of crudely drawn posters that were probably supposed to advertise it, were the artist not in such a rush, though they seem to have had more than enough time to detail the dashing, silver-haired man who serves as the poster's main subject</i>